What is Love? Is love a nice flowery feeling that goes smooth and easy? I used to think that a Great Love relationship would be by definition smooth sailing. The type of thing where you get to “live Happily ever after” with lots of bliss and nice emotions.
You see, to be human is to feel. When we are feel we are alive. Despite the weight of my Western conditioning, I have come to see there is nothing wrong with feelings– even anger, sadness and frustration. This is our humanity! The emotions are not to be resisted, but welcomed.
When we allow ourselves to feel, this is when we grow, blossom and heal. In fact, it is the only time we grow, blossom and heal. Why? Because it is not the other that is making us feel these things. It is ourselves, it is our old wounds, insecurities and fears. And when we take responsibility for our emotions, when we realize it ourselves and not someone else that is inciting them, then, and only then, can we accept them, rise above them, and become empowered by them.
Rather than imprisoned.
With this realization, one comes to welcome, to love, those moments and people that stimulate the most intense and deep feelings whether they are good or “bad”. I say “bad” because really, when you see it this way, even the bad feelings (especially the bad feelings!) are the real treasures. And when you see it this way, then bad comes to mean good. And good feelings are just as good!
I happen to have a lover that pisses me the fuck off. Amongst many other emotions. Through her I have come to learn so much about myself. I love her for this.
Listen, I will be honest with you
I do not offer the old smooth prizes
But offer rough new prizes
These are the days that must happen to you:
You shall not heap up what is called riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve.
However sweet the laid up stores,
However convenient the dwelling, you shall not remain there.
However sheltered the port, however calm the waters, you shall not anchor there.
However welcome the hospitality that welcomes you,
You are permitted to receive it but a little while Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road
Healthy, free, the world before you the long brown path before you, leading wherever you choose.
Say only to one another:
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money; I give you myself before preaching and law:
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
