I can’t quite believe I posted that last blog. Every once in a while afterwards I just stop and shake my head or get all nervous and feel my heart beat fast. But, I did it. Its in the sunshine.
So, let me keep going on here. I’ve got some momentum now at absolutely humiliating my ego. What else do I fear?
Well, its really quite obvious. I’ve been back for a month now and have been trying to rest and to heal. And its happening. But its also hard on my parents being back. And on me. I mean how would you feel if your son came back home at 32 without any money and after having had a stroke?
Well, you’d probably be really concerned. You think he had been wasting all sorts of energy. You would want him to get a stable job, a career, etc. That way he could be independent and self sustaining.
Yeah? Yeah.
Part of my healing is to understand this.
The challenge is that in the last year I have profoundly learned the complete opposite. Money is literally the last thing you need to be happy, to follow your dreams, and to lead a fufiling and inspiring life. My parents keep asking me if I need this or that as a way to inspire me to get a job. Yet, I profoundly understand how its so much easier to just attract and manifest what you need. You can do absolutely amazing things by simply stepping out and trusting in the universe. I know. I’ve done it.
Despite the clammering of my ego, there is no need to resist or to argue.
Of course, I can’t really say this at the moment– my body and my health seem to point to the opposite. It seems to point to not having money slowly wearing down my health because I wasn’t eating right and didn’t have sustained material comforts. So I remain silent and try my best to listen and be.
However, the Healer in London kept emphasizing something to me… “Russell you need to remember that this crash would have happened to you sooner or later no matter where or what you were doing”
And its true. All the way up to my stroke happening, I really trully thought I was in great shape. I felt in great shape and everything seemed AOK. If you met me, you also heared me brag of how well I was eating and you saw a great big smile on my face at any mention of my love life. I was completely oblivious to how the way that I was eating, the way that I was being sexual, and the way that I was working.
Its not what you know that gets you, is what you don’t know.
