It’s been a long time since I last made blogging a part of my life.
As you may be able to tell by the over 500 blogs that I have posted in the last few years, I love writing, expressing, and sharing my creations. Blogging is not only an essential part of my art practice– sharing my work, but also therapeutic. It’s such a great way express what is within and to hone one’s thoughts, and even the calibre of one’s thinking.
I have come to realize that the quality of one’s blogging/expressing is connected with the quality of one’s living. Mushy thinking leads to mushy writing. And if you’re not feeling confident, healthy, or in the flow, then, well, you might not even blog at all.
For a while there, that’s where I was at. I was very hard on myself. All the judgements, and condemnation that my ego could muster I heaped upon myself. I labelled myself a grand failure for not leaving the Philippines. It felt as if I had lost everything and had been marooned in a remote mountain village while life passed me by. It was a very dark time as I wrestled with these demons.
Fact is, I am in a remote Igorot village, where for the last two years I have been compelled to adapt like never before. In the darkness of this time, I have had to be deeply present with the demons that would condemn my moments. Rather than resist them, I have let them have their say. They have spoken, condemned and judged, and boy was it unpleasant. But now that they have spoken, the dawn has broke. I can see with light and love. It ain’t that bad. I ain’t that bad. In fact, all, is Good!
The whole process of losing absolutely everything, of having to start from scratch, and in one of the poorest countries in the World, has helped immeasurably to cut through the bullshit and get to what is important. The experience has caused me to drastically evolve my art to make it relevant in the setting of a developing country where no one has ever been to an art gallery before.
So here I am. I have gone from hating to loving (myself and my situation). And with that transition, I can get back to my art, my writing and my blogging with a tempered passion. As my artistic flow gets back onto the rails, I feel I am going to have lots of great stuff to share. So, up goes my blog again, and back to the keyboard go my fingers.
The view of the village of Guina’ang where I have promised the community and myself to build a library.
